Yesterday, as I reached for one of my new ponytail holders, I had an Overton Window experience. Oh, not in the political sense, but in the retail sense. (Stick with me.) The retail sense is not a real thing, but here is my personal definition: Manufacturers are changing their products, and not always for the better; they know it’s not for the better, or delude themselves into thinking it’s better, and since people still need those products, everyone gets used to a substandard product. Years go by, and people cannot even remember a time when that product used to be better, and so they don’t demand better. Or something like that.

Allow me to state my case.

Based upon my personal hair accessory shopping experiences over recent years, ponytail holder manufacturers are no longer securing the elastic loops with crimped metal like they used to. In all the years of my using those metal-crimped ponytail holders, I always felt like my hair was sufficiently secure no matter how many times I wound that darn elastic around my hair. Based on what I see in the stores, it appears manufacturers have abandoned metal crimps for some kind of space age glue to bond the elastic together to form the loop. Goody notates on their cardboard package, “no metal elastics,” as if they’d lost a class action lawsuit over a few strands of hair being yanked out with the metal crimp every time the ponytail holder was removed.

Back in my day, we expected to lose a few hairs when removing our ponytail holders. It built character. Made you realize how fleeting good hair could be. Now, those were real ponytail holders.

And, let me tell you, that glue ain’t cutting it. Now, one buys ponytail holders with an understanding that they will need to be replaced almost immediately — not because all the ponytail holders in the package have mysteriously disappeared (along with all of your bobby pins), but because the glue can’t take the strain. I’ve seen it happen first hand. The glued elastics just can’t handle as many twists upon the head. And the manufacturers fully understand that their product is not as good as it used to be. How do I know that? Because another note on the very same package says, “10x more ponytails per elastic.” How is that better? It makes me distrust the longevity of the product, like at any moment the glue will just give out. And, hey, I was forewarned because the package told me not to expect a lifetime of use. This is what you get for wanting “ouchless” elastics.

If you can’t remember a time when the elastic bands worked better, despite a few pulled hairs upon removal, how could you ever know to be indignant about this product change? Welcome to the Can’t-Depend-On-Something-As-Simple-As-A-Ponytail-Holder Generation.