On Friday, I flew up to Salem, MA (not on my broom) to get some autumn feels. It seemed like a logical thing to do at this time of year. I knew the town would be in full expression of its unique bewitching character, and I hoped the trees would be showing off their gloriously tinged foliage. That is, I was fairly confident that fall would be in the air. From a more practical standpoint, it was high time I used some work vacation days where I wasn’t just hanging around my self-quarantine bunker clearing accumulated piles o’ stuff or rearranging the living room for the fifth time. There were a lot of people there, considering all of the 2020 restrictions. The state was not encouraging visitation, especially if one was just hoping to show up without lodgings, etc. (I’d made my reservations in August and was darn lucky to have found something in the walking district.) Many things were sold-out due to strict capacity limitations, which put a damper on some activities. Still, I felt like I got the experience I was mentally prepared for, including raw hands from the door-guards in many shops who forced anti-bac spray on me before entering. (Yeah, yeah. New normal. I got it.)

True Tales of Trip Terror

1. At hotel check-in, I was asked to complete the Massachusetts Travel Form, which was several web pages long. After clicking Submit, a message appeared on screen saying I would be contacted to corroborate that I actually had received a Negative COVID-19 test result within 72 hours prior to arrival. I never received such a call, but I was on tenterhooks all weekend! (I totally had the proving paperwork, but still…)
2. The hotel’s automated parking valet system never recognized my claim ticket number, and every time I went to the garage the guys acted like I was either just checking in or leaving for good. Were they trying to tell me something?
3. The entire weekend while I was walking around, I felt like the streets were a strange amalgam of Bourbon Street, Fremont Street, Disney, and back-in-the-day Georgetown. And I liked it. Costumes were everywhere to be seen. Picture me looking across to the opposite sidewalk thinking, “Ooh! A red balloon!” Only to find the clown Pennywise on the other end of it. I also saw Michael Myers walking around in his jumpsuit and mask with a kid in his arms and, of course, more witches than I could count.
4. On Saturday I drove out to Appleton Farms in Ipswich, MA for a grounds tour. I was the only one on the tour at the time selected, and it turned out the guide used to live in Northern Virginia, where I’m from. Prior to that revelation he, like most people I encountered during the trip, seemed wicked-shocked that I was not from the Boston area.
5. While on said tour, the guide told me the dairy cows had all been put in the barn earlier in the season because an extended drought had limited their grazing time. Later, while I was waiting for my pizza on premises (seemed to be a popular local thing, so I waited 2 hours for pizza like everyone else was doing), I took a stroll and in the far distance near the barn I saw something big and white on four legs. I thought, “Is that a cow? I thought he said they were all put inside.” I stared for awhile and the cow turned her head toward me. I thought, “Yep! That IS a cow! I guess they brought one out for the kids. I want to see her, too.” So, I walked up that way. And… there was no cow. Not only that, but there was nothing up there that could have possibly impersonated a cow as an optical illusion. Conclusion: ghost cow.
6. After eating my pizza I went on a lovely walk with my iPod Shuffle. Earlier, the tour guide had told me of a special memorial in a grove of lined-up trees. When I reached that place, it was so beautiful that I felt like running through it a la Miss Elizabeth Bennett, but there were nosy people picnicking at the bottom of the grove near the road — who may have been looking at me like they thought I was one of those witches who strips down and dances ritualistically in the woods — so I contained my joy to a simple skip step. However, had it not been “Words” by Missing Persons blasting in my ears — say, had it been pretty much anything on my playlist by Kate Bush — then a more fervent frolicking would likely have ensued.
7. Sunday, the temperature had dropped by about 20 degrees and it took a lot of self-motivation to go out and make use of my last day in Salem. While in my hotel room getting ready, the power went out. Perhaps I should backtrack this story to earlier that morning when I couldn’t get the window shade to go back up — so I was standing in pitch black. Seemed like a good time to leave the room.
8. That night, whilst watching a little TV, the bed shook. This was a brand new hotel, so there really was no call for that.
9. Lastly, one time I was desperate enough to go down to the hotel’s little “grab and go market”, and to my shock and horror, they only had Pepsi products. I was grateful for the ginger ale, but it’s clear the Cola Wars rage on. Long live Coca Cola!